Journeys

We are all on a journey!

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After mulling this over for some time, I have a new blog where I aim to highlight the importance of:-

really listening to people

and the impact this can have on both our and their well being

 

but it does take two!

 

Check out- shutupndlisten.wordpress.com

 

My first post on this blog shows my big leap in a new direction in my life journey. Some of you may think this is hardly relevant to shutting up and really listening to people…

Throughout this new stage of my life I have needed people to really hear me when I have been struggling with how to move forward. 

From my own experiences, in this new strange way of living, those people interested in what was really happening for me have helped me to take a step at a time.

There have not been too many of them!

In a more isolated working environment I have needed to connect with people and learn to talk in a different way to people met along the way. If not loneliness, lack of motivation and low mood are just around the corner!

This is the reality for many home workers and finding new ways to network in our home and work environment can be an increasing challenge.

Really listening to people, on the phone, on the dog walk and understanding how life is for them helps to keep your own concerns in check.

A win win!

 

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Stress Management : Break free

Great pointers on reducing stress

Sunshiny SA Site

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Been feeling like “even your tired is tired?”
Who isn’t? It is a sign of the times and “stressed” is a common word that is bandied about with regard to all aspects of our lives.

Even children who are supposed to be happy and carefree are “stressed out” at school, due to bullying or peer pressure, or inherited stress from parents.  Medics and psychologists lay the blame on diets, professions and lifestyle choices. Some of us are burned out from attempting to do “too much”, over compensating and it has taken its toll on us.  Stress is inevitable.  Just that word stress makes me feel stressed out,  that is why now I personally prefer to say “overwhelmed”.  Sounds much better than that ugly word.

schoolcounselorstephanie.pngImage courtesy of schoolcounselorstephanie.com

For the masses though, these past years has yielded a populace of stressed out individuals. Is society…

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Boundaries

boundaries

Feeling put upon?

Think people take advantage of your good nature?

Take many things in your stride on a daily basis and then suddenly everything goes pop!!

Maybe you like to think you are easy going and accommodating of other people.

Are you kidding yourself?!!

Is it really that you are not standing up for yourself and not setting a boundary?

 

We all need boundaries to feel safe but also to perform well.

Boundaries:-

– set limits for ourselves and others.

– are guided by our beliefs and values.

– help us identify with the ideals and principles we live by.

– draw a line between what is acceptable for us and what is not.

Boundaries need to exist in most aspects of our lives.

Without them, or with blurring of the edges, we can become anxious, stressed and muddled.

Do you need to wake up and establish where yours are?

They may relate to habits, hobbies, career choices and leisure time.

They may be different in lifestyle, friendship and living norms.

Which boundaries do you need to review?

Exploring concerns with a therapist may help you to define yours!!

Feeling anxious?

 


As someone who has struggled with anxious feelings for over 10 years and not being influenced by these thoughts prior to this, I find it frustrating to continue to have to manage both anxious thoughts and feelings from time to time.

 

ARRRGH!! 

When these feelings present themselves what can I do?

 

Generally I find the following helps to improve my state:-

-Take the time to look at something beautiful – really notice and enjoy the moment…

Use all my senses to really pay attention to an item eg. flowers picked from the garden?

-Eat a balanced, healthy diet

-Walk in the countryside and connect with nature

-Keep active – walking, gardening, running, cycling, swimming

-Go to bed at a regular time, avoiding screen time before bed and prioritise sleep

-Connect with people who are aware of  my challenges and empathetic, not dismissive

-Make time for meditation and/ or relaxation

-Socialise with family and friends in a familiar situation

 

However when there are different situations, where these routines and habits are less able to be incorporated into daily life, or extra factors need to be accommodated  and this can be much more difficult.

Emotional challenges and feeling stressed can exacerbate the anxious feelings, so pacing and planning for time out to adapt and acclimatise to challenges are essential.

My primary tip!

Take time out to accept feelings and not be so hard on myself!

 

If this is difficult to achieve seek support. Services can be accessed via your Gp.

Alternatively a hypnotherapist can help you to change your thought processes and in turn your feelings and behaviours.

Complete the contact form attached if you have any queries.

One small change…

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We all have habits we may wish to change…

or have an issue which is challenging our life and threatening us from feeling our best!

To function in the best way we can and get the most out of our life we all need to constantly review…

There is always room for improvement!!

 

However this can be tricky and takes time and effort.

Here are simple steps which enable change to occur:-

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Reflection, mental well being and mobiles

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Was that a snap or message?  Was it a ‘like’?  How do I look? Why is nobody responding to me?

Many of us are tied into constantly checking our phones.

The constant pressure of having our mobile phone next to us (often in the hand) so we can respond to any minor connection or feedback we may get, is burning out our energy and frazzling our brains!

How can we hope to function well living like this?  We are social animals.

Human connection and bonding within a social group, developing our skills so we can have  interactions, conversations and laughter, gives us a group role. This feeds into our sense of purpose and sense of belonging. All essential ingredients for our general well being.

University is one a big change for young people, who are often taking the first big step away from their tried and tested social network. (This is one example there are many other times when there are changes in life and the same challenges of social connection are present).

Following an increase in suicides amongst young people, particularly in later teenage years and young adulthood, the Vice Chancellor of Bristol University highlighted mobile phones as being one of the factors creating increased mental health distress.

Having ‘time to reflect’on what we are experiencing, before we communicate, reinforces what I’m observing in my work as a Hypnotherapist.

Just taking time at any stage of our day to be in the moment, reflect and enjoy those sensations of ‘being present’, allows our mind to calm.

If the brain has no down time to assess before responding, how can we function well? This constant bombardment of information and lack of time out is effecting mental well being.

We are being reactive and constantly available, but not really connecting satisfactorily!

What about face to face connection and personal feedback? With more time working from home I’ve noticed for myself you get more reliant on technology for communication and it is the personal interaction which boosts well being.

Take every opportunity to talk to people either face to face, when out and about, connect with friends by talking on the phone if meeting is not possible. Put some social meet ups in your diary…

Stay in the moment – chat, engage and talk – communicate!!

Reconnect with people to feel good!

Improving health by writing!

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We all have heard a problem shared is a problem halved…

but what if no friends are available and you need to express yourself?

Writing down your thoughts to express your concerns, worries and connect with your feelings may be an option.

Writing can give many therapeutic benefits:-

  • help to calm your mind by giving you a focus

  • document a journey

  • help to express feelings and release emotions

  • help to reduce worry

  • assist in processing difficult situations

  • create a sense of direction

  • help to formulate some goals

  • give a sense of achievement

  • improve sleep

 

Writing can take many forms:-

journaling

documenting, to help process your thoughts

a letter to yourself or others (best not to send, but can help to clarify your feelings)

blogging

free writing

a gratitude diary

list making

doodling

 

There is a body of evidence developing which indicates that if you write a list of specific tasks you need to do for the next day, as you go to bed, it helps reduce rumination (repetitive thoughts). This reduces the time you take to go to sleep.

Better sleep helps the processing of challenges in your life and improves well being.

 

Pick up a pen!

 

Why try hypnotherapy?

cropped-water-drop2.pngEver wanted to change something about yourself?

Improve a response, a habit, or a way of interacting with others?

Known what you needed to do, but felt like the steps to make the change, particularly sustain change, were too difficult?

Hypnotherapy has the advantage of bypassing the conscious mind, allowing you to access your subconscious and unblock thoughts and behaviour patterns which are influencing you, which you may be unaware of. Hypnotherapy helps you connect with your inner resources and encourage change to occur more readily.

A small change in your responses or actions can cause a ripple effect, which over time, and with practice, can bring great change.

A little nervous about visiting a Hypnotherapist?

Please don’t be! We enter hypnotic states naturally everyday, such as when we daydream or are lost in reading something, and this state can create a feeling of calmness and inner focus. Whilst in a hypnotic trance like state we can still hear what is happening around us and do not respond to anything we do not wish to do. We are also in a state of heightened awareness and are more suggestible to making changes which will benefit our life.

By working with a Hypnotherapist this natural state can be utilised to build your confidence and motivation, so you feel more empowered too.

A boost to your confidence and self efficacy enables you to take the steps to use skills. This is the beginning of the change process. Practice of the new skills helps to make these small changes become the new habit.

Contact me today to discuss the health and well being issues you wish to work on.

You can check out my skills on the Hypnotherapy Directory.

Jo Copland-Dando is an Integrated Hypnotherapist with a background in Health. She works from a purpose built, safe and confidential space and specialises in Anxiety, working with AnxietyUk to support clients.

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