Teenage tantrums

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Can you remember when life was all cute and cuddly!!

This seems like a long time ago now…………..it was a different more hands on and a physically demanding phase of life, but it was comforting and cosy.

Others warned of the challenges of teenagers – but nothing really prepare you!

They grunt

They withdraw into their rooms

They take everything as a criticism

Nothing is done around the house without a huff and a puff

They want money all the time

They want lifts to lots of different places – hopefully

or maybe they are constantly on a gadget!!

They are messy

Unreasonable

….and yet quite needy!!

Frustrating to say the least.

What about homework, peer groups, motivation, boy/girlfriends, alcohol, body image, sexting, drugs, sex, music (not rock ‘n roll), grooming – at least 2 types, choices, independance, parties, curfews,  part time jobs, a career? future, Uni?, study, health, safety, freedom, bullying, social media, wifi, kindness, money, driving, family relationships and responsibilities…

I’m sure there are lots of things I’ve missed. It’s endless and draining and emotional, and at times tedious and confusing, as a parent……………let alone the young person!!

Anxiety is a big concern around this period, for the teenager who is negociating their growth and exposure to new concepts both emotionally and psychologically, let alone the physical and hormonal challenges. This brings insecurity, social anxiety and risk taking behaviours possibly all at once! It can also be tricky to negociate for the parents, with a return to sleepless nights, but for a whole range of reasons.

It will all be worth it, I keep hoping…….. but all seems a bit thankless at times. 

This is all preparation for when the stroppers step away from their home base and become their own person. Your job will be done! The input that has taken years of your energies will be either embraced or rejected and you can no longer easily influence.

Every phase of parenthood has its challenges and some parents will deal with certain phases better than others. Teenagers can cause you to feel rejected, powerless and stressed as you try to support their challanges.

Remind yourself this is a necessary seperation and rejection of your values, ideas and beliefs for them to be able to grow up into independant people.

As a parent apart from supporting them and trying to keep in communication with them to guide them as needed and certainly when it is asked for….

To keep yourself positive you need :-

  – support from your partner, friends or close family member – an empathetic person who can hear you, but not judge you when you need to unload!

– time for yourself, to develop your own interests and remind yourself of your strengths and abilities

seek out information and resources that can guide you and give you strategies to make the teenage years as smooth running as possible

– friendship with others with teenagers so you can swap tips or ideas or just giggle and let off steam at the ridiculousness of some of the challenges

– focus on your own goals and direction for when you will have more time available for career moves or new skills

-time out for you, to relax and be able to face the challenges

space to explore how you feel about the uncertainty of the future and what the opportunities are!

Not everyone has the right contacts to meet their needs and keep you positive. Or you lack direction, feel overwhelmed or isolated?

Meditaion and Self hypnosis can be transforming tools to help self manage these feelings for both the teenager and the adult. Talking to a Integrated Hypnotherapist can help you identify what needs to change and how to use these resources so you can move forward.

Some time for relaxation and refocus is a start!

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Quiet time….just be!

A busy household – part time intense job, teenagers, step-teenagers, animals, music, driving, stress, older active mum, working away husband, friends, learning and running a household. Quiet time I ask?

Essential…if you are going to keep your mind calm, your body functioning and your mental health in one piece.We all know this on some level but it is trying to fit it in.

So we need to develop strategies to make it happen.

Find a peaceful place – where you don’t have to overthink of anything, time for you to focus on the here and now. Focus on you! Even if only for 10-15 minutes each day:-

Walk the dog

Sit in the park

Plan a relaxing bubble bath

Walk through countryside

Reading a book or magasine

Gardening

Play sport or exercise class

Sing

Painting

These are some of the things I have tried .Whatever allows you to have that feeling of tuning out or ‘flow’ , where your mind switches off and you can just be. Be in the moment.

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With people demanding of your time and energy for much of the day, you need and deserve this time and space to replenish your energy levels.

If this is difficult for you, I know I have been there, plan to make it a priority 🙂

What I can offer?

Initially we can discuss what you wish to make changes to. This can be done by telephone or email and can take a little time to unpick. I can explore what you wish to work on, discuss the options and make a plan to address your concerns. This consultation is free and necessary for both of us to establish how we can work together.

My particular interests are:-

Anxiety, confidence, phobias, pain management, weight loss, stop smoking, presentation skills, stress management, performance and sleep.

I specialise in weight management, particularly weight loss and can offer a Virtual gastric band. Also eating disorders, habits, pain control, stress management, exam nerves and confidence in relationships.

I can work with adults, teenagers and children.