Boundaries

boundaries

Feeling put upon?

Think people take advantage of your good nature?

Take many things in your stride on a daily basis and then suddenly everything goes pop!!

Maybe you like to think you are easy going and accommodating of other people.

Are you kidding yourself?!!

Is it really that you are not standing up for yourself and not setting a boundary?

 

We all need boundaries to feel safe but also to perform well.

Boundaries:-

– set limits for ourselves and others.

– are guided by our beliefs and values.

– help us identify with the ideals and principles we live by.

– draw a line between what is acceptable for us and what is not.

Boundaries need to exist in most aspects of our lives.

Without them, or with blurring of the edges, we can become anxious, stressed and muddled.

Do you need to wake up and establish where yours are?

They may relate to habits, hobbies, career choices and leisure time.

They may be different in lifestyle, friendship and living norms.

Which boundaries do you need to review?

Exploring concerns with a therapist may help you to define yours!!

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One small change…

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We all have habits we may wish to change…

or have an issue which is challenging our life and threatening us from feeling our best!

To function in the best way we can and get the most out of our life we all need to constantly review…

There is always room for improvement!!

 

However this can be tricky and takes time and effort.

Here are simple steps which enable change to occur:-

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Improving health by writing!

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We all have heard a problem shared is a problem halved…

but what if no friends are available and you need to express yourself?

Writing down your thoughts to express your concerns, worries and connect with your feelings may be an option.

Writing can give many therapeutic benefits:-

  • help to calm your mind by giving you a focus

  • document a journey

  • help to express feelings and release emotions

  • help to reduce worry

  • assist in processing difficult situations

  • create a sense of direction

  • help to formulate some goals

  • give a sense of achievement

  • improve sleep

 

Writing can take many forms:-

journaling

documenting, to help process your thoughts

a letter to yourself or others (best not to send, but can help to clarify your feelings)

blogging

free writing

a gratitude diary

list making

doodling

 

There is a body of evidence developing which indicates that if you write a list of specific tasks you need to do for the next day, as you go to bed, it helps reduce rumination (repetitive thoughts). This reduces the time you take to go to sleep.

Better sleep helps the processing of challenges in your life and improves well being.

 

Pick up a pen!

 

Why try hypnotherapy?

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Ever wanted to change something about yourself?

Improve a response, a habit, or a way of interacting with others?

Known what you needed to do, but felt like the steps to make the change, particularly sustain change, were too difficult?

Hypnotherapy has the advantage of bypassing the conscious mind, allowing you to access your subconscious and unblock thoughts and behaviour patterns which are influencing you, which you may be unaware of. Hypnotherapy helps you connect with your inner resources and encourage change to occur more readily.

A small change in your responses or actions can cause a ripple effect, which over time, and with practice, can bring great change.

A little nervous about visiting a Hypnotherapist?

Please don’t be! We enter hypnotic states naturally everyday, such as when we daydream or are lost in reading something, and this state can create a feeling of calmness and inner focus. Whilst in a hypnotic trance like state we can still hear what is happening around us and do not respond to anything we do not wish to do. We are also in a state of heightened awareness and are more suggestible to making changes which will benefit our life.

By working with a Hypnotherapist this natural state can be utilised to build your confidence and motivation so you feel more empowered too.

A boost to your confidence and self efficacy enables you to take the steps to use skills. This is the beginning of the change process.

What are you waiting for?

Contact me today to discuss what health and well being issues you wish to work on.

You can check out my skills on the Hypnotherapy Directory.

Daffodils = hope

I love sunshine falling on the dancing daffodils.

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They bring such freshness and hope for the warmer weather.

This has a boosting affect on mood and sense of well being. Not always of course, but their blooming does signify spring time and renewal.

Time to clear out the old and bring in freshness – spring clean!

Not only physically, but mentally too.

What changes do you wish to make for this summer?

Any old habits getting you down?

Stuck in patterns which stop you from achieving what you would like from life?

Time to start thinking about feeling good and looking good, so you can enjoy getting out and about in the summer!!

Now is a great time for growth! Try new things?

A session with a coach or hypnotherapist can help you set your intention, look at how you live your life now and find the small steps that will put you on a different path.

Want to try something new and make a change? Contact me to discuss?

I look forward to it!

 

 

 

 

Oooh hello!!

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The snow has melted and the sun is shining. Getting out and about seems much more appealing.

As I was driving down a country lane and had to stop to let cars go past, I had an inquisitive face appear at my window.

Hello!! How can I help?

This horse was wanting to connect with me. After several days snow bound he was happy to see a human being. He stuck his head over the gate and right up to my window. What a beautiful sight!

That wanting to connect is often a main driver for people. As social animals we can struggle if we become isolated. Health issues, mood challenges and fears can limit us from from achieving our potential and feel positive in our lives.

I noticed in the snow an excitement from people as they trudged through the powder, feeling the different sensations in their boots, wrapped up but battling the cold. A great sense of being alive!! Smiles and and greetings were frequent. Was it the exhilaration of walking out in the snow and that connection to nature? Or was it the fear of being disconnected from others with the roads blocked, a pause in work days interrupting social interaction?

Battling through the snow is not dis similar to facing any life challenge.

Often people seek support with an issue because they feel isolated and unable to make progress through the connections they know. Making a change can be an exciting journey!

Seeing a therapist allows discussion with a person outside of their immediate social circle, enabling them to explore issues at their own pace and without fear of judgement.

So what are you waiting for?

 

Snow days impact!

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Feeling held back and caught up by the snow?

Difficult when not everyone is able to get out and about, services are closed and you feel trapped indoors.

None of the usual hustle and bustle and maybe the lack of social contact is a big change.

My husband is stranded working away and he’s been away all week, so that’s not great.

Try to avoid it getting you down.

It is away from our usual routines and activities but it is luckily short lived.

Hopefully you’re cupboards are well stocked and you are warm. If this is a challenge gather warm clothes, blankets and move around where you can. Call on contacts to share resources where needed.

If you are able, get out even for short periods in the snow

it is beautiful out there!

but ensure you are wrapped up in layers, with the necessary boots, gloves, hat and scarf.

 

Embrace the beauty of the whiteness while it lasts…

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This is unexpected time, embrace it!!

Once inside and warming up again use this time away from the usual work routine to reflect…

 

and take stock for a while…

 

What do you wish to achieve going forward?

Read around ideas and gather some information

How do want life to be in 3-6 months time?

 

What may be holding you back?

Any challenges to your health and well being you wish to change?

 

Often the first step is the hardest

but also recognising that something needs to change is the biggest step!!

 

Happy first steps…

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Looking forward…

One year on I find myself further along the road of self discovery, with greater positivity and more focus. Onwards!!

It feels easier to be looking forward…

The targets to achieve have had to be found within myself, which has been tough!

Now that the worst of the dark days of winter are over, the weather is giving glimmers of brighter weather, moving forward is on the agenda.

I’m not alone in these feelings of finding it hard, am I?

Working for myself, has been a huge change in my way of life, and at times quite a lonely place. Never worse than in the dreary Uk winter!

No distractions of a team, but none of the pressures either, which has been liberating, but also difficult at times.

Some self reflection has been necessary to move forward.

I recognise this is part of my journey and time has given me space to look at:-

  • who I am emotionally

  • where my strengths lie

  • whom I like connecting to

  • what I find challenging

  • what I need to improve on

  • where I am in my life and what next

  • what opportunities are available to me

This will make me stronger in the long run and more able to focus on where I am heading.

I need to be able to set my targets to continue to be successful and build my practice!

I have tried to embrace these steps for happiness but not always found it easy putting them into practice.

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The first one is particularly relevant, with too much analysing becoming distracting, but may be necessary at my stage of working for myself?

Some exploring has had to be done to gain self acceptance, be able to love more and appreciate more. 

This process may be tough but is beneficial for your skills and experience when working with clients, to understand their blocks and challenges.

Personally I am now more connected with how fortunate I am to have this opportunity to work for myself and build a business.

I am able to feel proud of my achievements to date.

I am engaged with what I can offer others, in order to support clients to make changes.

The outcome is I am planning future services which will help and support people to improve their well being.      So all round benefits.

This is an ongoing journey but acceptance has enabled me to move forward from where I was in my life and feel more focused.

 

 

 

 

New year, new you?

2018!!

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What do you wish to change?

Looking for help…

to start taking some small steps

which day by day

sustained over time

will set you on a journey

to a new you?

 

We all know what we may need to do, but actually setting it into our lifestyle and moving forward with it, is much more challenging.

 

Would you like support with?

-Feeling more positive

-Eating more healthily

-Being more active

-Stopping smoking

-Pain management

I can explore with you a way forward.

With years of working with all types of people, to empower them to make health improving changes and more recent skills in coaching and hypnotherapy, we can look together at what you wish to address.

Then work on the how!

Just check out my website… and get in contact.

Happy New Year!!

 

 

 

 

Anxiety

Anxiety,  is a  little word

but with a

big impact.

Anxiety

Anxiety is the sensation of being on high alert, otherwise recognised as the “fight or flight response”.

This is a normal body function. When faced with a threat, the body responds via the sympathetic nervous system and hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis and shifts into gear to prepare you for action. Your body is mobilising resources to mobilise body and brain.

This normal response gives physical symptons of shortness of breath, fluttering in the stomach, racing heartbeat and sweating and emotionally you may start to feel fearful.

This sense of being ready for action was necessary in the days when we lived in caves and lived a primitive life. We often had to use our body physically and this gave an outlet for the energy build up.

Nowadays you may need to be on high alert in different situations, maybe to present a speech to a large group or a discussion with your boss if a confrontation is brewing which needs to be addressed. Then your body prepares, to sharpen your attention, so you can set about performing. This performance is an outlet for the build up of energy.

Unfortunately humans are unique in that a danger doesn’t have to be present to give us this response, we can conceptualise it. Neuroscientist Bruce McEwen says “the mind is so powerful that we can set off the [stress] response by imagining ourselves in a threatening situation”. Is it this ability that can cause people to be stuck rumminating and anticipating a stressful situation and being stuck in the stress response, leading to a state of anxiety?

We may have lost sight of where some of our body processes come from but we need to recognise them to make them work for us. Unchecked we can easily drift into symptons we know associate with anxiety.

How can we recognise our reactions, acknowledge them and make them work for us in modern life?

Sounds like action is needed!

  1. Recognition and understanding is the first step.
  2. Time out in the fresh air, dog walking, connecting with nature, or any exercise which suits your lifestyle, is a must.
  3. Relaxation of the mind, accompanying exercise, or in the form of meditation, mindfulness or hypnosis.

This gives you time to disconnect from your concerns and enjoy the physicality of movement and/or of emptying your mind – preferably both!!

If this is a challenge and you are finding activity difficult to incorporate into your week,  sessions with a Hypnotherapist can help you to identify what you need to focus on for yourself, to promote better well-being.

The outcome is harnessing the energy  of your body and mind to work with you!