Anxiety

Such a little word…

But it creeps into so many peoples lives and sets up in the background of their mind. Always ready…

 

anxiety

Ready to set off and take hold of your thoughts, at the slightest invitation.

I know this to be true for myself, in my own thinking.

In my work as a Hypnotherapist…

anxiety is regularly present in people’s thought processes:-

– about what has happened in their life

– what concerns they have right now

– how they can change things

– where they are going…?

I use hypnotherapy to access inner resources for myself and clients…

to build on skills we already have, but have lost sight of!

Isn’t this true?

We are busy, life changes and we forget the strategies we have been regularly using or used in the past. Once you have felt anxious, at times of stress, rational thoughts can go out of the window!

We all have to work on our thinking skills and notice our negative thoughts, in order to avoid being kept in the same place.

Hypnotherapy helps you change habits by accessing inner resources, via your subconscious. It raises your awareness to the skills you already have. With practice you can establish or re establish new neural pathways, so you can function better in everyday life.

The process takes commitment from you, the client, too but the experience is pleasant and relaxing.

The outcome is to enable you to feel more in control of your thoughts.

The mind is very powerful, so harness its potential to work for you!

When you want to change something for the better:-

feel more in control of your weight

stop smoking

manage feelings of anxiety

get rid of a phobia

perform better in a situation

improve your health and sense of well-being

seek support from a Hypnotherapist.

You can learn skills to practice in everyday life.This starts you on a pathway to new habits or ways of thinking and being.

A small change over time leads to larger changes – the ripple effect.

Consider hypnotherapy to start and sustain change!

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Preparation for student life!

uni-sign

Where am I going?

Am I studying the right subject?

What are the halls like?

Who will my friends be?

Will I miss home?

Am I ready?

So many questions when preparing for Uni and equally as many for the parents!!

Having supported 3 young people on their journey to University last year I am aware of some of the feelings both before they head off and as they settle in.

There are a lot of expectations about how students behave and what a party lifestyle it will be. Students may feel overwhelmed, anxious and alone when the reality to what they have heard is often quite different in the short term and takes time to establish.

As parents the ‘fun’ times you remember are often the celebrations along the way, when friends have been made and towards the end of study. The feelings of bewilderment at negotiating a new way of life, in a new town or city, may be long forgotten.

Being a student is often a period of making great friendships and learning a lot about yourself. How to live in shared accommodation, to manage your time, perform academically in a new environment, access sports and societies and socially negotiate the drink, drugs and partying culture. There is good and bad but this doesn’t happen instantly.

Taking time to listen to your young person’s worries and concerns can help them negotiate this new phase of life. Being kind in your listening skills and available to them emotionally can be of great benefit.

So many young people head of to Uni nowadays and due to changes in how they have been parented, the materialistic focus in society, social media and the pressures on how you look, to name just a few, means there are added pressures on young people. Not all parent ‘helicopter’ their children but there is generally a much more responsive relationship with them, which amongst other factors such as high expectations and excess choices, may not foster young people to be as resilient as they were once expected to be.

This contradicts my previous paragraph in that it looks like parents create and need to continue to be supportive of their young people, but they do. Research has shown that the final period of growing into an independent adult extends as far as 25 years old. Long gone is the idea that you get to 18 years old and you are out there and independent – society does not make this easily possible for all kinds of reasons. Lack of affordable housing and lack of varied work opportunities for young people, to name a few.

In my work as a Hypnotherapist I have supported many students with anxiety over recent years and much of this has been around mixed expectations. Taking a step back from all the choices and beginning to understand it is a big transition but they will be okay, is the first step. They do have the skills to cope well, if they can just re engage with their resources. Hypnotherapy can help them to do just this.

Universities have been developing services to support students health and well being. Each campus should have access to someone to talk to as the initial place to seek support. This can make all the difference and is available on the website of relevant organisations.

Being connected with feelings and open with someone you can trust, such as a well being professional or your friends and family, is important to prevent escalation of low mood. Encouraging the young person to speak to their Gp is also important, if you are worried about mood issues, as this is the access to mental health services.

Often waiting lists for further support are long and this is where my work in my practice as a Hypnotherapist and with Anxiety Uk has been invaluable. Students have contacted me directly for a few sessions, with good affect, during this transition phase. For longer term anxiety and a small fee students can access support through this charity with resources online to read and download. There are several therapy options to access like Hypnotherapy at a reduced cost.

For students, and parents, it is feeling like there are some options to support young people as they head off on their new journey.

 

 

Journeys

We are all on a journey!

beach-run

After mulling this over for some time, I have a new blog where I aim to highlight the importance of:-

really listening to people

and the impact this can have on both our and their well being

 

but it does take two!

 

Check out- shutupndlisten.wordpress.com

 

My first post on this blog shows my big leap in a new direction in my life journey. Some of you may think this is hardly relevant to shutting up and really listening to people…

Throughout this new stage of my life I have needed people to really hear me when I have been struggling with how to move forward. 

From my own experiences, in this new strange way of living, those people interested in what was really happening for me have helped me to take a step at a time.

There have not been too many of them!

In a more isolated working environment I have needed to connect with people and learn to talk in a different way to people met along the way. If not loneliness, lack of motivation and low mood are just around the corner!

This is the reality for many home workers and finding new ways to network in our home and work environment can be an increasing challenge.

Really listening to people, on the phone, on the dog walk and understanding how life is for them helps to keep your own concerns in check.

A win win!

 

Boundaries

boundaries

Feeling put upon?

Think people take advantage of your good nature?

Take many things in your stride on a daily basis and then suddenly everything goes pop!!

Maybe you like to think you are easy going and accommodating of other people.

Are you kidding yourself?!!

Is it really that you are not standing up for yourself and not setting a boundary?

 

We all need boundaries to feel safe but also to perform well.

Boundaries:-

– set limits for ourselves and others.

– are guided by our beliefs and values.

– help us identify with the ideals and principles we live by.

– draw a line between what is acceptable for us and what is not.

Boundaries need to exist in most aspects of our lives.

Without them, or with blurring of the edges, we can become anxious, stressed and muddled.

Do you need to wake up and establish where yours are?

They may relate to habits, hobbies, career choices and leisure time.

They may be different in lifestyle, friendship and living norms.

Which boundaries do you need to review?

Exploring concerns with a therapist may help you to define yours!!

Daffodils = hope

I love sunshine falling on the dancing daffodils.

Jo April 17 1500

They bring such freshness and hope for the warmer weather.

This has a boosting affect on mood and sense of well being. Not always of course, but their blooming does signify spring time and renewal.

Time to clear out the old and bring in freshness – spring clean!

Not only physically, but mentally too.

What changes do you wish to make for this summer?

Any old habits getting you down?

Stuck in patterns which stop you from achieving what you would like from life?

Time to start thinking about feeling good and looking good, so you can enjoy getting out and about in the summer!!

Now is a great time for growth! Try new things?

A session with a coach or hypnotherapist can help you set your intention, look at how you live your life now and find the small steps that will put you on a different path.

Want to try something new and make a change? Contact me to discuss?

I look forward to it!

 

 

 

 

Glimmers of spring

Hoping for some more days like this!

Feb 18 022

We’ve had a few sunny days, but it’s not long after the snow and the changeable weather often brings a chilly wind. Its tempting not to venture far from your hopefully warm and cosy home.

To boost well being its always good to get out and about.

Reasons to get outside include:-

As a dog owner or befriender you can wrap up warmly and get out there, as they insist on this several times a day!!

Explore with children the parks, woodlands or public footpaths and observe the bursting buds of bushes, trees and plants or of new animal life. Help them to learn about the wonders of our nature and countryside.

The garden is always beckoning at this time of year so small jobs to clear, tidy and prepare for the bursting forth of plants and vegetables, during any clear spells, helps to boost positive feelings. Plan the garden of the summer!

With an improving picture, planning to meet friends and family for gatherings out and about in new places or old haunts. Helps with reconnecting after the winter hibernation.

Lighter nights,with the clocks going forward this weekend, ensures more daylight and opportunities to attend all kinds of social events. Consider taking up an activity in the evening of these lighter nights. Get out on your bike, join a club or find an exercise buddy? Keeping active to improve your health.

Community events are planned in parks, villages, halls and the countryside which engage people with all kinds of skills and entertainment. This brings a sense of hope and interest. Opportunities to connect in many different ways, socialise and have fun are more abundant.

Volunteering time and skills to benefit your local community, gives the volunteer a sense of  well being too. Skills may involve working in buildings to offer services for individuals or organisations, connecting with others and may involve activities outdoors too. A great benefit of this work for the individual is the sense of contribution and involvement locally, which can boost powerful positive feelings.

So it all looks good!

Certainly it is an improving picture. All activity and connecting with nature is good for our body and minds, so it is great to be able to plan more of both of these into the coming weeks.

What about those niggling health and well being issues, which need some small shifts for you to be able to engage in these opportunities?

Motivation to:-

get more active

eat more healthily

reduce negative thoughts

feel confident talking to new people

reduce addictive habits

incorporate better ways of living your life

Need support to start the changes? A Hypnotherapist can start you on your journey…

Wherever you are, I hope you can get planning and enjoy some sunny, warmer moments in the coming weeks.

 

Oooh hello!!

march11 017

The snow has melted and the sun is shining. Getting out and about seems much more appealing.

As I was driving down a country lane and had to stop to let cars go past, I had an inquisitive face appear at my window.

Hello!! How can I help?

This horse was wanting to connect with me. After several days snow bound he was happy to see a human being. He stuck his head over the gate and right up to my window. What a beautiful sight!

That wanting to connect is often a main driver for people. As social animals we can struggle if we become isolated. Health issues, mood challenges and fears can limit us from from achieving our potential and feel positive in our lives.

I noticed in the snow an excitement from people as they trudged through the powder, feeling the different sensations in their boots, wrapped up but battling the cold. A great sense of being alive!! Smiles and and greetings were frequent. Was it the exhilaration of walking out in the snow and that connection to nature? Or was it the fear of being disconnected from others with the roads blocked, a pause in work days interrupting social interaction?

Battling through the snow is not dis similar to facing any life challenge.

Often people seek support with an issue because they feel isolated and unable to make progress through the connections they know. Making a change can be an exciting journey!

Seeing a therapist allows discussion with a person outside of their immediate social circle, enabling them to explore issues at their own pace and without fear of judgement.

So what are you waiting for?

 

Looking forward…

One year on I find myself further along the road of self discovery, with greater positivity and more focus. Onwards!!

It feels easier to be looking forward…

The targets to achieve have had to be found within myself, which has been tough!

Now that the worst of the dark days of winter are over, the weather is giving glimmers of brighter weather, moving forward is on the agenda.

I’m not alone in these feelings of finding it hard, am I?

Working for myself, has been a huge change in my way of life, and at times quite a lonely place. Never worse than in the dreary Uk winter!

No distractions of a team, but none of the pressures either, which has been liberating, but also difficult at times.

Some self reflection has been necessary to move forward.

I recognise this is part of my journey and time has given me space to look at:-

  • who I am emotionally

  • where my strengths lie

  • whom I like connecting to

  • what I find challenging

  • what I need to improve on

  • where I am in my life and what next

  • what opportunities are available to me

This will make me stronger in the long run and more able to focus on where I am heading.

I need to be able to set my targets to continue to be successful and build my practice!

I have tried to embrace these steps for happiness but not always found it easy putting them into practice.

july-2016-028

The first one is particularly relevant, with too much analysing becoming distracting, but may be necessary at my stage of working for myself?

Some exploring has had to be done to gain self acceptance, be able to love more and appreciate more. 

This process may be tough but is beneficial for your skills and experience when working with clients, to understand their blocks and challenges.

Personally I am now more connected with how fortunate I am to have this opportunity to work for myself and build a business.

I am able to feel proud of my achievements to date.

I am engaged with what I can offer others, in order to support clients to make changes.

The outcome is I am planning future services which will help and support people to improve their well being.      So all round benefits.

This is an ongoing journey but acceptance has enabled me to move forward from where I was in my life and feel more focused.

 

 

 

 

Managing negative thoughts?

At times managing negative automatic thoughts can be difficult.

Any holiday period…with a change in routines, interacting closely with family members, or not as you would like, more time on your hands to think, plus the enhancements of alcohol or lots of rich food etc can amplify the thoughts running through your mind.

The Christmas holidays can be one of those times. Or the weeks following this when the debts need to be paid and the hangover of social events may be on your mind.

 

negative-thoughts

There are lots of quotes and suggestions on how to bannish these negative thoughts and focus on positive thoughts.

This can be really difficult to do!!

Working hard to stop negative thoughts and somehow not managing to keep them from from popping into your head and lodging there, as a rumination – going round and round, can add to the negative cycle.

Dr Judith Beck, a Psychologist and President of the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy in USA carried out research in 2013 which demonstrated that women were more likely than men to ruminate. However some people are more prone to negative thinking than others and this can be genetic and/or as a result of childhood experiences.

As constant negativity can interfere with happiness, add to our stress levels and eventually damage our health we are increasingly aware ongoing negative thoughts are not good for us.

This can add to increasing feeling of failure, due to not managing these negative thoughts.

 By not trying to stop these negative thoughts, worry and obsession can be reduced.

 

9-negative-thoughs

The basic premise of mindfulness meditation is acknowledging your negative thoughts which can lessen their weight. Acknowledgement and acceptance of these negative thoughts is the way forward!

Once the negative thought is accepted force yourself to challenge it.

There are many exercises you can use, based on cognitive behavioural therapy or CBT. Google or access ‘get self help’.

If your negative thoughts are making you feel overwhelmed – practice taking some deep breaths. Controlled breathing can help reduce the stress reponse and calm anxious thoughts.

Practicing meditation or self hypnosis can boost your positive feelings.

The more you practice acknowledging, accepting and challenging negative thoughts the sooner this can become the

However if your thoughts are making you feel distressed  or are interfering with your work or social habits, seek help from a mental health professional.

New year, new you?

2018!!

images (2)

What do you wish to change?

Looking for help…

to start taking some small steps

which day by day

sustained over time

will set you on a journey

to a new you?

 

We all know what we may need to do, but actually setting it into our lifestyle and moving forward with it, is much more challenging.

 

Would you like support with?

-Feeling more positive

-Eating more healthily

-Being more active

-Stopping smoking

-Pain management

I can explore with you a way forward.

With years of working with all types of people, to empower them to make health improving changes and more recent skills in coaching and hypnotherapy, we can look together at what you wish to address.

Then work on the how!

Just check out my website… and get in contact.

Happy New Year!!